It’s the end of winter. We’ve already had a few days of irresistible weather, where the sun rises unexpectedly early and stays in the sky up to cocktail hour. One day last week I stepped outside and felt warmth on my face. Australian winters are short, but spring feels just as good.
I’ve been all over the place lately — my body is inflamed and angry, my mind races, I can’t focus. I don’t feel balanced, there isn’t a ton of certainty about anything these days. Between work stress, ill health and immigration paperwork, I’m having trouble nailing down what I need.
I even doubt craft, the thing I come to again and again. I read Felicia’s blog post on how craft has centred her during challenges, and I can’t fully relate right now. I scan my Instagram feed (yeah, I know), filled with cups of tea and books, knitting projects and fabric, sighs of contentment at stealing a moment away for craft. That’s not where I am right now, and I don’t see my current state reflected anywhere.
Truth is, even with some beautiful projects on the needles, I’m having trouble getting excited. The relaxing moments just aren’t as soothing as I’d expect them to be. So what do we do with that? When normally all I need is a long walk and an afternoon by myself to recharge, I’m finding it hard to get my energy levels up.
Last year Belinda wrote about farming, and how she knew it was what she needed to do. Reading her words again tonight, I’m envious, not about the farm, but about the feeling. That’s what I want.
What do you do, loveliest of reader, when you’re stuck?